Me- time na me-not-time

Oh yes, a moment came when I felt me-not. In a park, in the midst of bustling walkers and the cackling birds  the magic happened. While finishing off my walking routine I used to sit down in a bench in the park for a little bit of me time. Just sat there and absorbed life around me. It’s a pretty small park where I go for my morning walk. I would be just observing other walkers walking past me, speaking in multiple tongues but since I wanted to be just me I never paid attention to their conversations. Some loners, some in groups, some regulars . I have been doing this for the past few months. I made an habit of sitting for a few minutes taking deep breaths and sit quietly.  Initially , I felt I was being very refined and noble by not listening into others’ conversations and giving them space. As days passed I became aware of life other than people, the trees and plants and the flitting insects and birds. The trees standing there observing and absorbing life around silently. Silently? Not quite they have their own way of communicating, like their dancing leaves and creaking branches. Letting sunlight through their moving branches in a playful hide and seek. The birds and insects making their homes there bring in their own dynamics of lively conversations. Even the slightest breeze I can make out by seeing the dancing leaves. Can we human signal air and light passing by like these trees ?  Then after a few days I started wondering about what have these trees standing there for so many years have absorbed and stored in their memory ? How many life stories they have in their archives.? Slowly I forgot me and got absorbed into them, learned to be silent and humble  and just be there , letting go the me also. I look forward to letting go of me everyday , even though for only a few minutes, it feels more lively becoming part of larger existence.

 Trees are so much in topic now especially in the context of global warming.Relevance of local flora and fauna is being understood more to have anecologically balanced environment. All my life for the past six decades I haveseen trees , either a stand alone like a peepal or in groves like mango, date ,coconut and so on. I have always understood that trees stand apart since theyneed resources like earth, water and sunlight. In fact I have philosophically learntfrom trees that in our lives too we need to give and have space between eachother to have a healthy relationship. All that perspective changed during myrecent visit to San Francisco. There I was introduced to the giant sequoia alsoknown as redwood trees. So tall and majestic , standing for thousands of years.But when I got to know more about them they simply amazed me. These trees donot have deep roots but they spread out for their balance and stability. But theamazing fact is these trees stand close to each other , supporting and holding onto each other, sharing resources as they stand as a family. I saw in some treesthe trunk is burnt and carved out in the forest fire yet standing defiantly tall. Theircanopies towering hundreds of feet above supporting their own ecosystem andlife. These trees have added another dimension to my life lesson. Spacing out orin close proximity we can still share , respect and be self-reliant and beat theodds together. 

 Child is the father of man. That was Wordsworth. Many an interpretations have been attempted to understand that statement. That our childhood guides our adult life or that our children guide us. I prefer the second interpretation for I do think rather accept as we age at some point we stop learning , being curious and stagnate in our thinking. Our children show us the path to further progress, to take forward our learning. They hold our hands and guide us into experiencing new ideas, new places, new everything. Yes that’s what they do. All that’s required is to be open minded to hear them out , to trust them. Then an exciting experience awaits us. Not only us even our children enjoy the sheer experience of showing us the knowledge base that they have developed and working on. Children are like mirror to us , reflecting whatever they’ve absorbed from us and also what they’re now. It’s like seeing ourselves there showing us what more progression possible , how much further we can travel. For me I’ve learnt so much from both my sons. Reflecting back , I remember vividly my elder Aditya has always been an explorer, right from getting out on his own from his play pen as a toddler to finding new routes to his school on his bike. Now he is researching in antarctica. My younger Arjun more of a listener , even as a small child he used to listen to music sitting in one place. Listen to his elder brother reciting his poems. Absorb everything around him. Now he is researcher in futuristic technology . While growing up both have nudged me to let go and allow them to explore and experiment. Yes they were getting hurt almost every day while playing after school. But then they rushed home showed me their wounds allowed me to clean the wound and then immediately rush out to continue their play. In studies they both put effort to understand fundamentally the subjects . An easy companionship between them , their self reliance, have been an hallmark of their growing up. While Aditya intuitively senses any stress in and around him, Arjun always has good positive opinion of everyone around him. Both went to new places far from home and picked up skills of life, a good life. Yet both draw clear lines of boundaries while engaging with people. They’ve been showing me all along to go to your trusted ones when hurt, heal, and get back, move on. Explore , experiment, keep learning. Thank you Aditya and Arjun for for holding hands with me while showing me the path ahead. I thought I was holding your hands. No it’s the other way around. You both are my guiding lights, my sweet angels.